Reorganizing My Mental State
This was my state of mind last week:
This is my state of mind this week:
I’m feeling anxious that I’m coming to another important crossroads in my life and it’s seriously beginning to stress me out, like most important things do. It didn’t bother me graduating from University 5 months ago, then it almost seemed surreal. But I guess reality is setting in and I feel like I need to start getting things together now or spend the rest of my life working in retail and being a tumblr zombie. First I thought, I’ll look for a full time job in something remotely related to my field. That only lead me to the conclusion that those jobs don’t exist or that’s not what I’m looking for. Secretarial work just doesn’t appeal to me I’m sorry. I know, I know you have do the whole “pay your dues” thing but so what if I work my way up the chain in some office (government or private same diff)? That just doesn’t appeal to me. I know so many people that will lose their minds reading this. I’ve had this conversation with a few people and they all think I’m insane. But what I’m saying is, I think it’s insane that happiness in life can be chalked up to a 9 to 5 with benefits, a house, and 1.5 children or whatever it is. Blame it on the remnants of my 15 year old punk rock self but that’s not what I see for myself. So what’s my plan then? Even though planning your life is sad, I mean, have goals and dreams but please don’t schedule the rest of your life. Allow for spontaneity and know how to take opportunities as they come. Anyway. So what’s my plan, going back to school? I guess? That sounds so solid I know! But I don’t see myself doing anything else right now. I want to learn everything on Earth! Ok not that extreme but I want to learn more. The snag though is that my grades limit where I can go and I’m psyching myself out because of that. I’ve always had the voice that nags “you’re not smart enough, confident enough etc”. I’ve gotten over it many times before, like when I applied to University, but it has also cost me at times, like that time I got a D because I had a mini mental breakdown first semester of first year and nearly convinced myself that I wasn’t smart enough for University. Everyone that knows me personally and reads this is going to think I’m completely out of my mind. And that’s the sad part, I got a D BECAUSE I convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. I could have had an A in that class but on one paper I had a freak out. It sounds like I’m dwelling at this point but the moral is, mental attitude determines the outcome of pretty much everything you do. So I’m going to school and the only hesitation I have is rooted in my mediocre grades but I might as well take the chance now.
So the conclusions I’ve come to thus far:
-I’m going to try and get into an M.A. program.
-I need a change in my life (which basically means moving? aaah!)
-Life is stressful but completely manageable and full of awesome opportunity as long as you keep your inner hater/jerkface in check.
The Rockies.
The view from the Chateau Lake Louise was insane.
Moraine Lake was one of my favourite spots.
Lake Louise on the way to the Victoria Glacier. We didn’t go the whole 7 km though, just to this end of the lake and back.
Hiking up to the tea house and Lake Agnes
The tea and sandwich were amazing.
Lake Agnes. 
Canoeing on Emerald Lake in British Columbia.
On top of Sulfer Mountain in Banff, Alberta. 
It was such a beautiful place, the weather was amazing, even the days it snowed a bit. Everywhere you looked there was another mountain peak and more trees. The lakes were unbelievably blue and clear and everyone was so friendly, relaxed and open to conversation. The only downside is now I feel like I have the travel bug… where should I go next?
Herringbone Floors.
Hardwood floors are undeniably practical and beautiful but one way to take it to the next level is laying floors in a herringbone pattern. The first photo especially has so much texture in the wood grain and colour.
Next post will be some photos from my trip to Lake Louise! It was so stunning; the mountains make you feel so small.
Skinny Love
Oh wow.
It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything on this blog. I’m so amazed this thing even still gets any views! I betrayed WordPress and started a Tumblr out of complete laziness. Between finishing my 4th year of University and a wee little promotion at work I had no motivation to develop my own posts or write anything substantial. I have thought of these old stomping grounds recently though and now I have a new resolve to come back and write again. Mostly because I did a little job search, realized I’m qualified for nothing in the real world even though technically I have a decent grasp of the english language and overly developed critical thinking skills. So critical that I remain a skeptic at all times. Yeah I know, it makes me annoying to be around, asking so many questions and wishing to know all aspects of things. And yet, I’m unqualified for any sort of paid position including stapling assistant. Free internships though! Man are those widely available to me. It’s too bad I need basic food, water and shelter. Yes water is free but public fountains are nasty and disappearing as fast as phone booths. What I’m getting at is; I’m back, I’m looking to maintain some semblance of my writing skills and vocabulary. As I say this I am all too aware of the smart ass spelling and grammar trolls of the internet. Yes, I use comma splices, yes, I don’t know the proper use of the semi-colon. Everyone from my grade 12 English teacher to my Workshop in Essay Writing professor and I think even my Western European Politics professor have tried to correct this. But here I am, continuing to type things as they sound in my head. So I ask you to read this as such. Each comma is a small pause. Deal with it. It’s just the way I speak and as a result it is also the way I write.
Longest tangent ever.
So hi anyone that still looks at this blog. I can’t wait to post on a regular basis.
Lonny Mag
I think I made the GREATEST discovery today with Lonny Magazine. I’ve seen many of the spaces featured around other design blogs but no one ever gave Lonny Mag any credit!
This next one pretty much sums things up:
That music lead her astray.
What am I doing right now?
Blasting Minus the Bear and raiding the Contemporist of course!
What should I be doing right now?
Writing an annotated bibliography for my Human Rights class.
Bedstorming
I’ve been doing some browsing for a new bed. I currently have a single bed which was given to me for University. It feels really juvenile so I started pricing beds. Basically IKEA is my best option for price-style ratio as always! Since I have a bachelor and my bedroom is essentially a nook I MIGHT have to give up my dresser just to upgrade to a double bed. This crushes me because I love my dresser. Here’s my set up right now:
Here are the new options:
Bed 1: Best for style by far, but $179 plus mattress and slats.
Bed 2: Ok style but no headboard great price at $129 plus mattress and slats.
Bed 3: Really nice headboard would for sure match my apartment but $199 plus mattress and slats.
Bed 4: Most expensive, $249 plus mattress and slats, not my favourite style but if I can’t incorporate my dresser elsewhere in the apartment the drawers would really come in handy.
p.s. the title of this post is misleading I apologize!
Simple Beauty
Long time no see!
I definitely haven’t been keeping up with this blogging thing! Been a busy busy bee lately.
